Dec 2, 2020
TW: Suicide is discussed at length in this episode. If you feel
it wouldn't be healthy for you to listen in, please don't. Should
you feel that no one in your life can be trusted with all that you
are going through, please reach out to the National Suicide
Prevention Hotline, 800-273-8255, or hurry to schedule an
appointment with a recommended therapist.
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Grieving a dead loved one is always difficult, but sometimes the
grief process is complicated by factors that aren't typically in
play when an elderly relative passes naturally and peacefully.
Suicide often invokes in friends and family member feelings of
guilt about "what might I have done differently" or shame because
of the loved one's having chosen to end their life and how that
might reflect on us. Other complicating factors can be intense
feelings of anger and abandonment, shock, loneliness because of
difficulty sharing what we are experiencing with others (coupled
with, too often, their reticence in discussing this person's life
that ended that way), and wrestling with emotions about this
person's (or now our) incomplete life. Grief will often be
tougher when it a death was sudden, contaminated by crime, or by
our sometimes feeling relief that this person is now gone. We can
easily get tangled up.
This episode features three panelists, Lisa Hansen
(a wonderful therapist), Jana Riess (someone who
has in several instances suffered losses that are very
complicated), and Latter-day Faith host, Dan
Wotherspoon (who is currently struggling with four deaths
in his family or close circle that have occurred in the past three
and a half months, two by suicide). Our hope in presenting this
discussion is that you will come away with not only great advice
and perspectives but also a sense of not being alone in your own
grieving or feelings that you aren't grieving the right way, that
you should be past the emotions that still play out in your mind
and heart, that your failing as a human being, and more.
It is a powerful episode. Please listen and share with others.